Curiosity Killed The Cat
by Bob The Other Zombie
Summary: Fred attempts to get Hermione to test out one of his products, with little success. Fluffy (nowhere near) Valentine's Day oneshot.


**A/N: Many thanks to the amazing Yael Black, who translated this fic into Hebrew! If you're interested, there is a link to it on my profile page. Thanks again! :)**

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Hermione examined the little chalk candy heart. XOXO, it said. "No." she said, tossing it back at its owner.

"Come on, Hermione." said Fred. He barely caught it before it landed in the Gryffindor common room fireplace.

"No." said Hermione. "You've probably drugged it. I'm not letting you give it to any first years, either."

"Don't worry, I wasn't planning on it." Fred said. "I really think you would've like it, though..."

"What does it do?" Hermione asked, genuinely curious. She'd been impressed with most of the Weasley inventions in the past.

"You'll never know unless you try." Fred said.

"I told you, I'm not going to eat it." said Hermione. "It'll probably- turn me into a Pygmy Puff or make me fall in love with Snape."

Fred leaned back in his armchair. "Wrong and wrong."

"Will I...fall in love with Dumbledore?"

"Nope."

"McGonagall?"

"No."

"Malfoy?"

"Merlin, no." said Fred. "I told you, you'll have to eat it to find out."

"Wait, so it is a love potion?"

"I didn't say that." said Fred. He offered the heart to her again. "Come on, 'Mione, you know you're curious."

"Not at all." Hermione said. She reached under her armchair and pulled out her Arithmancy book. "In fact, I think I'm going to do the reading I came down here to do, so if you don't mind..."

Fred stayed where he was, staring at her with a smirk on his face. Finally, after a few minutes, he said, "You haven't read a line of your book, have you?"

"Maybe I would if someone would stop staring." Hermione said.

"You'd still be curious." Fred said, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees. "Hermione, you know you're curious. You want to eat this candy heart."

"Not particularly." Hermione said, turning a page in her book. "Why don't you try it? You and George used to try your products on yourself all the time."

"Oh, I never liked this type of stuff. Don't really like the taste." He stretched over and took the book away from her. "Stop pretending to read. You're far too interested in what's going on right here."

"You're going to drop it in the fire if you keep waving it around like that." Hermione said mildly.

"So you would care if I did?" Fred asked.

Hermione shrugged. "I know you've probably got dozens of them up in your room."

"Nope." said Fred. "This is one of a kind. And you are being given box seats to its one night show. Really, Hermione, you ought to be grateful."

"Why me?" asked Hermione. "You've got other friends who would be perfectly willing to try your inventions. Give it to Angelina, if you need a girl."

"Nah, she's not too keen on me after the breakup." said Fred. "And she and Katie and Alicia know me too well anyways. They wouldn't take it."

"And you think I will?"

"I think you can be persuaded."

Hermione folded her arms. "Fine. Persuade me."

"Well, to start off with, you really admire magic, don't you?" said Fred. "This candy heart is a very special kind of magic, a spell I just invented, and this one is the only object I've used it on. George doesn't even know this spell. Only I do, and I won't use it again."

"Doesn't explain why I have to be the one to take your unique magic." said Hermione.

"Because I want you too." said Fred. "I'm the one with knowledge of the spell here. I choose who it gets used on. And I want you to take it. If you don't, I'm just going to let this spell- this new spell, with all of the possibilities it could unlock- go to waste. I don't care very much about that. But you do."

"Really." said Hermione.

"Don't even try to deny it, Hermione, you're obsessed with stuff like this. In fact, I have a theory, that when you confiscate George and I's products, you don't even turn it in right away, you keep it, and take it apart to see how it works."

Hermione's face heated up. She hadn't realized Fred knew about that. "Well, following that _theory_, couldn't I just steal the heart from you and figure it out myself?"

"Not without knowing what it does, you can't." Fred said. "You wouldn't have anywhere to start."

She had to admit he was right. "I'm pretty sure I can guess." she said. "It's a candy heart, therefore, some kind of love potion."

"Nope." Fred said, smiling.

"Is it going to turn me pink?"

"Not even close."

"Does it make people say who they fancy?"

"No." Fred said. "Maybe they really do overestimate your intelligence..."

"Well, I'm definitely not going to take it now." Hermione said. After a moment, though, her curiosity was too much for her. "Is it going to make me kiss a lot of people?"

"Not at all." Fred said.

"Well then, I really don't care, seeing as I don't know what it could possibly be." said Hermione.

"You care." said Fred. "You're burning with curiosity right now. I can see your brain working."

"I don't." said Hermione.

"Come on, just for once, you want to try it..."

"You're wrong." Hermione said. "I guess you failed to convince me."

"Well, then, it's time for my final argument." said Fred, popping the heart into his mouth. Before she could register what was happening, he had crossed the space in between their armchairs and was kissing her. She felt warmth pulsing through her from fingertips to toes and opened her mouth, deepening the kiss. Then, Fred suddenly pulled away.

"Okay, now chew and swallow." he said.

Hermione was so dazed she almost obeyed him. Then, her brain finally caught up with her and she spit it out. "No, absolutely not." she said, standing to collect her books and flee, but her face was flushed and her fingers were shaking. "What was that for?"

"Hermione! You just destroyed a one-of-a-kind piece of magic!" said Fred. "If you had just swallowed it, instead of chewing it up and spitting it out-"

"Really." said Hermione, staring at him. His ears turned red under her gaze. She sat back down. "Okay, let's look at what just happened logically. We both know you can be more charming. There were far more arguments you could've used-"

"None as good as that one." Fred said, although his grin seemed a little forced.

"-and, there was no real reason I should be the one to take the heart-"

"Maybe I thought it would be amusing." said Fred. "Since you're a prefect and you've been hounding George and I all year."

"Still not a reason. There's no way I would've ever eaten it." said Hermione. "And, furthermore, I can't be sure, but..." She pulled out her wand and cast a few spells on the lump of sugar in her hand. "...I don't think there were ever any spells on this at all."

"Maybe they just got corroded by your saliva." Fred said.

"Magic doesn't work like that." said Hermione. She tossed the remains of the heart into the fire and wiped off her hands. "So, in conclusion, you...wanted to kiss me?"

"Maybe." said Fred. "I also think it would be pretty funny to leave you wondering the rest of the day what it had done to you."

"So it's true?" Hermione said.

Fred stood up, avoiding her eyes. "Well, I think I'm going to go report back to George about how you just destroyed this, and tell him how we'll have to charge you extra for our products for the rest of your life-"

Hermione cut him off by standing and kissing him. When they broke apart, Fred grinned.

"Knew I could get you to do that." he said.

"Shut it!" Hermione said, laughing. "That was not part of some plan."

"Yeah, you're right, it was mostly just flying by the seat of my pants and hoping." said Fred. "Hermione Granger, will you do me the honor of accompanying me to Hogsmeade next weekend?"

"Yes." said Hermione. "As long as I don't see you testing your products on any first years before then."

"Don't worry, you won't see me." said Fred. Hermione glared. "Only joking, it'll be second years, mostly." Hermione crossed her arms. "Really though, Hermione, we're mostly done with the testing phase for our current batch, anyways."

"Good." said Hermione. "You'd better be."


End file.
